Feeling Like a Failure

Feeling like a failure is a normal human feeling. We all feel that way when we don't succeed. But that feeling of failure should be a pivoting point for you to help you push off in another direction or to analyze what went wrong or what part of the problem has you feeling like a failure.

Identifying the various types of failure

There are few "types" of failure. If you try something for the first time, and don't succeed, you can fail and perhaps feel like a failure. But such feelings don't usually last too because you are capable of being able to point out that this was your first try and who usually succeeds on the first try anyway? Very good perspective!

Then there is the feeling of failure that comes from working on a skill or a project, perhaps competing for a position or a prize, then not winning or succeeding. Those feelings of failure take longer to pull out from because you have invested much more of your time and your spirit into the action. The question is how much of your spirit was invested in that project and what is it going to take to get it back? Try again? Give up and walk away?

The third type of failure is the one where you haven't done a specific action or been specifically turned down but a continual feeling of not being able to succeed in life no matter what the area. This is sort of depression masked as feelings of failure. You don't feel very inspired and don't have much confidence in your abilities. This is where most people get stuck.

How do you get away from feelings of failure

To get over the feelings of failure, you must understand that first of all, it's only that, a feeling. You are not a failure. There are things that you can do, and do well. There are certainly talents that you got or skills that you can do better than at least one other person. Although life isn't a competition, you can see that perhaps you are a better cook, golfer or organizer than your brother or best friend. There is always something there in you that you can identify as at least "pretty good at" and focus on that.

To move on from failure, you need to reach for better feelings. OK, so you aren't a rocket scientist and you didn't invent Microsoft but so what? Look at you the people you admire or feel admiration for in your past. Many of these people are just ordinary people like yourself. Maybe you had a very inspiring high teacher. Maybe you admire a relative for their drive and determination to stick with it despite many difficulties. You don't have to be Superman to be unique and important in someone else's life.

When you are feeling like a failure, identify something about you that you are proud of. Focus on that feeling, that you can do something when you set your mind to it. Just reach for feeling just a little bit better feeling. You don't have to jump for joy but at least acknowledge that you can choose to feel better about yourself. And notice that you don't feel quite like a failure any more.

"Anne Dessens is the founder of AnneDessens.com - your one-link to everything 'self-improvement': diet, recipes, running & walking, deep breathing, success, journaling, energy and universal laws.

To learn more about how to improve your life by mastering your energy, health and motivation, please visit: http://www.annedessens.com/health.html

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How to Get Rid Yourself From Feeling Stuck Emotionally

When you are stuck emotionally, you feel that you are truly caught between a rock and hard place. This feeling can have you immobilized and unable to take any kind of action. The key to unlocking this feeling of being stuck emotionally is understanding this one key element: it's all in your head.

Your emotions are an indicator of what you're thinking and what you're living. They let you know whether you are listening to your heart and taking action accordingly. When you aren't listening to your heart, your inner voice, and you're actions don't reflect what you truly desire in your mind, then you'll have negative feelings, feelings that get you stuck emotionally. It could be depression, it could be anger, it could be fear. The emotions that are getting you 'stuck' are just your mind's interpretation of feeling split between heart and 'doing what you think you are supposed to be doing'.

The key to freeing up this feeling of emotional standstill is to see yourself in a place of empowerment rather than a place of disempowerment. You empower yourself or reclaim your power and thus your emotions through choice. When you choose what you want to do, how you want to feel and where you are going to go, you feel your power surge through you, bringing you focused energy and fulfillment.

So where do you start? You know that going from feeling disempowered over a situation to feeling one of empowerment isn't as easy as it sounds. This is true. There are a few stepping stones on this emotional path. So where do you begin?

Begin with where you are. That is, begin to regain your power by choosing the moment at hand. Choose to embrace the feelings that are pulsing through you. Even if these emotions are fear and pain. Acknowledge them, acknowledge that this is where you are right now, this is how you feel right now and it's OK. Accept them as part of who you are right now.

Next, you begin to choose to do the actions that have you feeling stuck in your life. There is a huge difference emotionally to stay, 'I have to do this' as opposed to saying, 'I choose to do this.' To make this process a little easier, start with actions that aren't very threatening to you, such as choosing to do the dishes, get dinner ready or fold laundry. Say it out loud as you perform this or that action and accept that you're doing it by choice, that no one is forcing you to take this action.

As you feel more comfortable with this process you can then move towards using it on the heart of your problem, the thing that really has you emotionally stuck. Just choosing to feel sorry for yourself in the moment is an empowering moment for you. You don't need to stay in the self-pity but it's a stepping stone to feeling perhaps angry. That will be an emotional step up from feeling disempowered over the situation.

When you can move towards emotions that will lead to more positive action such as letting go of the situation and forgiveness you'll notice your power coming back into you. When that happens, you'll see that you've gotten yourself out from feeling stuck emotionally. That feeling of freedom is the difference between choosing this feeling over that one.

"Anne Dessens is the founder of AnneDessens.com - your one-link to everything 'self-improvement': diet, recipes, running & walking, deep breathing, success, journaling, energy and universal laws.

To learn more about how to improve your life by mastering your emotions and personal growth through journaling: http://www.annedessens.com/journaling.html

Stay up-to-date on the ever-changing self-improvement for success website by signing up for her monthly newsletter. Get exclusive tips, articles and recipes just for her newsletter readers: http://www.annedessens.com/newsletter.html

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Saying "No" Without Feeling Guilty

Saying "no" without feeling guilty sounds like great advice but doesn't always seem to be that easy. What makes saying "No" sometimes feel like you are a horrible person? It's because of how you feel towards yourself that makes guilt such an easily accessible emotion.

The feelings of guilt when you don't accept to do something for someone else stems from the feeling of crossing that personal boundary. You know deep down that your energies would be better spent on other projects or at a later time. Your guilt stems from you stepping on your own self-esteem.

Learning to say "No" without feeling guilty boils down to one thing, a healthy dose of self-esteem. When you have a healthy level of self-esteem, you learn to identify when you overstep your personal boundaries by doing too much, saying "yes" too often. Saying yes all the time is a habit, a chronic habit of refusing to take care of yourself first. You sacrifice your own energy and down time moments when you always accept things that don't vibe with your spirit. No one can be all and do it all, all the time. Rest and recuperation are equal parts of the creation process. When you don't respect this vital part of your person, your self-esteem takes a blow and the feelings of guilt surge up from within you.

But people count and depend on you right? This seems like a valid point but if you are always doing for others, when are they going to learn to take care of themselves and do it for themselves? Of course, your small children need you. Yes, your aging parents need more attention now than before but you still have to take care of you. If you are always saying yes to them, then when do others say, "OK, I'll do that for you"?

One process to begin moving in a direction of feeling less guilty when you say no to someone is to start being honest, to yourself and to that person asking. You don't have to be ugly or sound excessively selfish, but it's important to begin letting other people know that you wouldn't be able to perform that request with your best energies. You can also be honest and say that you have other commitments that you need to honor first. Yes, that means the commitment to honor yourself, take care of yourself and feel energetic enough to do any other actions to the best of your abilities.

When you don't honor yourself and your health, your own time and personal commitments to a joyful life, your self-esteem suffers.

"Anne Dessens is the founder of AnneDessens.com - your one-link to everything 'self-improvement': diet, recipes, running & walking, deep breathing, success, journaling, energy and universal laws.

To learn more about how to improve your life by mastering your energy, health and motivation, please visit: http://www.annedessens.com/health.html

Stay up-to-date on the ever-changing self-improvement for success website by signing up for Anne's monthly newsletter. Get exclusive tips, articles and recipes that are just for her newsletter readers: http://www.annedessens.com/newsletter.html

- Copyright: you may freely republish this article, provided the text, author credit, the active links and this copyright notice remain intact."

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Anne_Dessens

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Article Submitted On: April 03, 2011

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