The inner-critic, or "gremlin" is the negative voice that can range from very negative self-criticism to simply disempowering. Keep in mind, these are just situations to make you notice if your gremlin gets noisy as well as to help you become mindful about it. There is no way to completely turn off your inner-critic voice, but doing work around it and managing it can be enormously helpful. Here are 5 possible gremlin triggers:
1. Toxic people in our lives: There are all kinds. The family members we can't avoid (or maybe we can, but think we don't have a choice here), "friends" in our inner-circle that pop up or even co-workers we see more than we'd like to. They may make you feel inferior, judge unfairly, point out your faults (a way to make them feel better about themselves), or maybe they are just such a mess that being around them brings you down. Take some time to take inventory of these people in your life, how your gremlin responds to them and maybe when you can do about it. Maybe you can eliminate them from your life. If not, become aware of what your inner-critic says to you and the conclusions that are made when these people are in your life.
2. Crisis: This one may seem like a no-brainer, but it's worth talking about. Whether it's a break-up, loss of a job, even things like being reprimanded at work can be big parties for your gremlin. Keep in mind here gremlin's get noisy when we get vulnerable, and vulnerability is a big part of crisis. If it's a decent sized crisis, give yourself some time to hear your gremlin out. It's the beach-ball metaphor: If you try to hold a beach ball under water, eventually it will pop up and it takes a lot of work and energy to keep it down. Same goes for the gremlin voice here.
3. New or Unfamiliar Situations: Most people become uncomfortable in new or unfamiliar situations. And what comes with that? Vulnerability. And your gremlin gets its cue to start chatting. If you've been dragging your feet about trying something new because your gremlin is afraid (because after all, it's your inner-critic voice that's speaking!) you'll look silly, or you won't know anyone, or you'll fail, go anyway! Keep listening for those phrases, be mindful about them and ask your gremlin to shut up! Everything you've ever done has at one time been new or unfamiliar. And look, you survived!
4. Falling victim to "Keeping up with the Jonses": This is hands-down a first-class ticket on the comparison train. In our culture of instant gratification to new gadgets galore, to "mcmansion" homes everywhere, it's hard to not get caught up with trying to keep up with what our neighbors and friends have. When it comes to comparing, that is your gremlin speaking, not your true authentic self. Even if you find yourself comparing yourself UP to people and making yourself feel better because you have more than others. Because at the end of the day, happiness isn't about stuff and the things that we possess.
5. Social Media/Internet "researching": Social media sites like Facebook have been a blessing for people everywhere, connecting like-minded souls and reconnecting lost friends and families. However, it can open the door for your gremlin in a big way. It's an easy way for it to jump on the "comparison train" and compare ourselves and our lives to everyone else. Believe me when I tell you 99% of everything you see on these sites people are putting their best foot forward. No one is putting up pictures of themselves when they roll out of bed, right? Also, if you're in business, or a mom blogger, "researching" other's sites and blogs to the point of beating yourself up for not being up to par with them, is your gremlin talking. Stop stalking other people when it's not serving you!
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