What to Do When Your Feathers Get Ruffled

You can be sailing through your day feeling great then something or someone gets your feathers ruffled and you spiral down that feeling of well-being to one of upset and negativity. Here are a few tips that you use when you find yourself out of sorts and angry about a situation.

The first thing to do is take a deep breath. Take a moment to focus on something else like counting to ten. Actually, the angrier you are, the more deep breaths you'll probably need to take. So, focus on your breath, taking in as much air as possible, holding it for as long as you can before letting it out again. Repeat until you can feel yourself centering again.
Becoming of your aware of your thought process when your feathers are ruffled will also be a main key to maintaining your center and your focus. This means, begin observing your thoughts as problems arise and others say things that sets you off. Notice how you get defensive or angry. As you learn to identify you thought processes in the moment you can begin to change them. You can learn to say something to yourself that would help you to change your focus to a more empowering thought. Perhaps a thought such as, "I can stay focused" or "this isn't that important".
Getting better perspective is also important and vital to keeping your center when you get upset. This can take the form of seeing that perhaps there is something to be learned in the situation, or from what the person is saying to you. If you can listen to words and not the emotions or feelings behind this person's comments, you can perhaps then see that there is some validity in them. Perhaps you do need to modify your behavior or make necessary changing. If do can learn to see this as helping you succeed quicker and not from the perspective that everyone is out to destroy you, then the lesson to be learned will be quickly acquired without you getting your feathers ruffled.
A final tip for maintaining your calm and not getting upset when a situation gets your emotional juices flowing is learning to feel confident enough that you can take a little criticism. Learning to hear that the words the person is saying or the "failure"' of your project or action isn't an attack on your person or your honor will help you immensely with maintaining your focus and calm. We are all human. We all have flaws, make mistakes and can use some advice or 'conflict' to see just where we need to change and grow.

The best way thing to do when you get your feathers ruffled is to maintain your self-esteem and center by saying that you can stay focused on the final goal and not getting caught up in the heat of the moment. What's your ultimate goal, be happy or be right?

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Article Submitted On: April 03, 2011

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