The loss of a loved one leads you into very murky emotional waters. Your own life and belief systems are thrown to the wind when someone you know dies. You question yourself, your existence and the whole purpose of the universe. Death leaves its mark on us no matter how close or not-so-close we were with someone who just died.
Death is as much a part of life as growing and maturing but our understanding of it is really very individual and personal. It takes some time to come to terms with death. As you grow older, it's easier to see that everyone's "time will come". And perhaps you can better accept death. What you need to do is reach for better feeling thoughts about this entire subject.
The Right or Wrong Way to Feel
There is no one right way to feel when you lose someone you know. Every emotion serves its purpose. And strangely enough, it seems that when encountering the death of another person we run the entire emotional gamut of pain, grief, anger and frustration to acceptance and peace. The best understanding you can have about dealing with grief and the loss of someone is to acknowledge that it is a process and that you will be thrown to the bottom of the emotional scale with this loss and now you job is to reach for better feeling thoughts as you move your way up this scale.
Time is the Key Element
It's a process and it takes time. Give yourself the right to feel each and every emotion that courses through you. The stronger your pain, most likely the stronger the love you felt for this person. But no matter where you are in this process, remember to be gentle on yourself and accept where you are each day. Some days will feel better than others. Some days will feel like you are back at ground zero. Accept and acknowledge where you are so that you can begin the process again of reaching for a better thought.
Reaching for Better Thoughts
How do you reach for a better thought? Any thought about the subject of death or that person that brings your relief is a better thought. Happy memories work well. Repeating statements like, 'Everyone has to go at some point' or your religious background and faith all help to bring relief. Thinking that there is something after this life helps enormously in dealing with these feelings of loss. As does thoughts that everything is working in Divine time and according to Divine plan.
No one thought or point of view is the correct way of looking at death. The only one that matters is the one that brings you relief or a feeling of peace and acceptance. Reach for those thoughts as you move through this process. And when it gets too difficult to bear on your own, seek counsel. There are professionals that can help give you advice, groups that can help you understand your feelings and books about the death experience that can bring you peace and understanding.
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