Feeling like a failure is a normal human feeling. We all feel that way when we don't succeed. But that feeling of failure should be a pivoting point for you to help you push off in another direction or to analyze what went wrong or what part of the problem has you feeling like a failure.
Identifying the various types of failure
There are few "types" of failure. If you try something for the first time, and don't succeed, you can fail and perhaps feel like a failure. But such feelings don't usually last too because you are capable of being able to point out that this was your first try and who usually succeeds on the first try anyway? Very good perspective!
Then there is the feeling of failure that comes from working on a skill or a project, perhaps competing for a position or a prize, then not winning or succeeding. Those feelings of failure take longer to pull out from because you have invested much more of your time and your spirit into the action. The question is how much of your spirit was invested in that project and what is it going to take to get it back? Try again? Give up and walk away?
The third type of failure is the one where you haven't done a specific action or been specifically turned down but a continual feeling of not being able to succeed in life no matter what the area. This is sort of depression masked as feelings of failure. You don't feel very inspired and don't have much confidence in your abilities. This is where most people get stuck.
How do you get away from feelings of failure
To get over the feelings of failure, you must understand that first of all, it's only that, a feeling. You are not a failure. There are things that you can do, and do well. There are certainly talents that you got or skills that you can do better than at least one other person. Although life isn't a competition, you can see that perhaps you are a better cook, golfer or organizer than your brother or best friend. There is always something there in you that you can identify as at least "pretty good at" and focus on that.
To move on from failure, you need to reach for better feelings. OK, so you aren't a rocket scientist and you didn't invent Microsoft but so what? Look at you the people you admire or feel admiration for in your past. Many of these people are just ordinary people like yourself. Maybe you had a very inspiring high teacher. Maybe you admire a relative for their drive and determination to stick with it despite many difficulties. You don't have to be Superman to be unique and important in someone else's life.
When you are feeling like a failure, identify something about you that you are proud of. Focus on that feeling, that you can do something when you set your mind to it. Just reach for feeling just a little bit better feeling. You don't have to jump for joy but at least acknowledge that you can choose to feel better about yourself. And notice that you don't feel quite like a failure any more.
"Anne Dessens is the founder of AnneDessens.com - your one-link to everything 'self-improvement': diet, recipes, running & walking, deep breathing, success, journaling, energy and universal laws.
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