Many times, when we're working on an issue with a lot of emotional pain-or physical pain-and it's not clearing, it can be because we're not being specific enough. You can look at it like peeling an onion, except this onion has a treasure in the very center-the core issue. If you stay on the level of the peel or the outer layers, you don't get to the treasure, and the issue doesn't get resolved.
Low Self Esteem
For example, "low self esteem" can be seen as an "umbrella" that spans over a number of core events. Anyone with low self esteem knows it's real and knows when they're feeling it. However, in any kind of psychotherapy, including EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), if we stay with just talking about or EFT Tapping on "low self esteem," nothing seems to change-or the change is very slow.
What Does Low Self-Esteem Consist of?
Let's start by peeling one layer off the onion, going from the umbrella to what low self esteem may be made up of? Just guessing, here are some possibilities:
I feel like I'm often wrong in how I think or what I say or how I actI feel like I AM wrong or bad, in my essenceI put myself down a lot; self criticismI feel ashamedI feel that I shouldn't have been bornI imagine others thinking badly of meI believe I can't do anything right, or that I often fail at what I try
An EFT Concept: Getting to the Core Issue
Zooming in on the above points, we can get to the core issue, through core events. Just picking one from above-"I feel ashamed"-let's think about when you tend to feel that way. Some possibilities:
When I make a mistake at work and my boss noticesWhen I slip on the ice and fallWhen my hair doesn't work out right in the morningWhen a friend tells me I don't care about them because I didn't notice something about themWhen my spouse or partner gets angry because I didn't respond correctly when they told me something about themselvesAnd on and on and on
Now we're getting to something more specific!
Getting to the Core Event
Usually with something as big as self esteem, it started in childhood, with specific childhood trauma, specific childhood events, or patterns of events. So, picking one of the things from above--let's say, your spouse or partner getting angry-ask yourself, when have I felt this specific kind of shame around someone getting angry when I didn't listen or respond correctly? For example, I've had clients whose parent suddenly got angry and told them they were selfish or purposely rebellious or bad. The child had no idea what she/he had done. When we go back to the event, it often turns out that the parent was often in a bad mood and the child happened to be there and didn't help them with whatever was bothering them. So they yelled at the child, putting them down for not noticing that the floor was dirty. Or the child needed something when the parent was trying to sleep or whatever. In any case, it usually had little or nothing to do with what the child was doing. Nor could the child-because it was a child-solve whatever was bothering the parent. You can see that childhood emotional abuse creates long-term emotional pain.
Criticism Creates Shame Creates Low Self Esteem
Nevertheless, this kind of criticism and shaming creates what we experience as the umbrella, low self esteem. Each time it happens is lumped onto the other times and now, whenever something happens that has even a flavor of the specific emotional pain that was created in the original events, the shame and low self esteem is there in the same intense way it was in childhood.
EFT Tapping Can Heal Low Self Esteem
When you can get to core events and use EFT Tapping on the feelings that arise when you remember specific parts of specific events, you're actually working on a core issue.Often, it will resolve and your day-to-day life will change. It's amazing how such horrible experiences as childhood sexual abuse, childhood physical abuse or other trauma that contributes to low self-esteem can often be healed relatively working with a psychotherapist that is adept at EFT.
Zoe Zimmermann, MA, LPC is a Certified EFT Practitioner and long-time licensed psychotherapist. She uses EFT Tapping as her modality for fast breakthroughs with core issues and specializes in clients who suffer with PTSD from accidents, surgeries, abuse, dysfunctional family dynamics, other traumas and physical pain.
EFT is an exceptionally effective energy psychology and alternative therapy, where EFT Tapping on acupuncture meridian pressure points is used to take emotional charge out of traumatic and painful memories and experiences, often alleviating pain.
Zoe conducts in-person, phone or Skype sessions. Schedule a session now by calling 303-444-1195 or visit Zoe Zimmermann's website.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Zoe_Zimmermann
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